She Was Never Mine - 5


 Dear Diary,
I was writing about him and he entered house! Thinking about him always brings a strange blush and smile on my face which is almost unexpected to be restrained or removed. Shifting to a new place and having tonnes of memories which can’t ever be forgotten. I even accidentally smile in front of anyone when his name comes up in conversation and that to why I don’t know! Oops that phrase “I don’t know!” is to be said when we are together in public and cant kiss each other. I am sleep deprived and yet am so damn tempted to draft every minute detail we have created together so pristine and carelessly! Nope there is nothing perfect in this story and yet everything is so damn perfect when we are together. Meeting him was fate I guess and I am forced to believe in destiny even. We met at the strange point in my life. When there was everything upside down along with my reverberating mind about my career. I am amazed at myself how come I even went to meet a boy who used to stare me sitting at canteen like he is going to eat me with his eyes. I complained a lot about him to Kalpit and Rashmi and yet somehow I ended being with him. I knew I didn’t need that stuff for town planning from him but his gaze changed with time and I was curious to know what is that he sees so damn passionately or eagerly. I do remember our locked gazes on canteen or whenever we crossed each other in college. Something that was beyond lust or attraction. And till date I haven’t got any answers of his straight from heart to straight towards heart gazes. He still locks eyes with me each time I am around him. His eyes convey something beyond explanations or words which can’t be deciphered. Standing in front of mirror I often think what do I have that only he sees in me? The first thing connected us was Rain I guess. Three hours we sat in rain discussing our lives when we met first time alone. Stars never rose that night and moon was too shy to be out of those silvery lined clouds. And it drizzled all night long on us! And his arrival has forced me again to be here and write and crave those tiny details. More later! I hope I continue writing forever like this. Inspirations always come and leave us unexpected and that’s the only thing I fear of losing him.
I Wish To Be Only His! 

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