Second Thoughts!

Refining the thoughts she had for first time, reviewing them, analyzing them, had always been hard for her. It was the most difficult thing which bothered her. She never mixed her heart and mind they had their own mutual understanding and she always chose her heart for first thoughts. But this time in his matter she was forced to think otherwise. Her second thoughts only conveyed a dead end. Being with him was something beyond magical; it was divine. The battle between her heart and mind has been going through endless nights. Each time she wrote him she felt she was being reasons of his pains and nightmares. Being in his life, piling up the more problems to his own ones. Guilty she was just even being present in his life. If it had been someone else, she might had ended even at that very second she started having second thoughts. But! This but has been harassing her from the very first day she met him. Those transparent barriers she surrounded herself have been invaded by him already. He was becoming reasons to her smile, her wish to stay alive, and her cause of writing even. And what she gave him back! Indefinable endless pain. And no longer had she decided to hear to her heart. Ending it was the only option she had.